Papa would never drink water
served out of a plastic cup
He would never leave a lonely man
by the streets without leaving him cash
He would never not talk to every man, woman
little children, Chinese, Malay, Indian,
that passes by.
A carpenter, taxi driver, cendol man,
Every man was his friend.
He would never not smile,
He would never “tarik muka”,
He would always make small talks.
Janggut, is what they call him.
The day you left I cried like I never did before,
I lost a father, a best friend,
a makan-buddy, a gossip partner,
but I felt sorry for when you left, to the people
who looked up to you,
who needed your support and guidance,
who appreciate your small gestures,
I felt sorry.
Sorry Papa did not make it,
sorry he left everyone to soon.
Sorry we lost somebody
that had a great impact on us.
Sorry it was so sudden.
Sorry I could not fill up his shoes and
be the type of person he is.
Sorry you had to go day by day,
wondering where he went.
There’s an emptiness
that I carry with me everyday.
I fake a smile almost all the time,
I depend on others to make me happy,
I can’t do it alone. It’s terrible.
I sit and wonder, why I had to go through major things in life
without you by my side.
You’d always tell me to “sabar”,
Always tell me to share food with others,
never to eat alone and not offer,
to always give when you have extra,
to always smile and not hold grudges,
to always help people.
Always help people in need,
and never expect a return,
because humans are always forgetful.
I carry your words wherever I go,
I do things everyday, with you in my mind.
I am weaker now. Very weak.
I go by everyday praying things will be better.
I pray for you, Pa, that you’ll be in a better place.